Pandemônio

Está escuro. Ah, não, os meus olhos é que estão fechados. Vou abri-los e... Espere! Está escuro MESMO. Quero gritar. Não consigo. Por que não consigo? Estou amordaçada! Quero mover-me. Não consigo. Por que não consigo? Minhas mãos estão amarradas. Os meus pés também estão! Parece que minha cabeça está girando e girando. Parece 

                           que 

                                  estou 

                                            caindo.         

Pandemonium

It is dark. Oh no, it is just my eyes closed. Let me open them and... Wait! It IS dark after all. I want to scream. I can't. Why can't I? I am gagged! I want to move. I can't. Why can't I? My hands are tied. And so are my feet! My head seems to be spinning round and round. It seems

                          I

                            am

                                  falling

                                            down.

Primavera

A estação das flores.

Desabrocha com excesso de brilho, perfume e cor.

Depois murcha.

Mas, durante o período do seu reinado,

Florescente, floresce como se não houvesse amanhã.

A estação do amor.

Intensifica todo e qualquer desejo, carinho, beijo...

Depois abranda.

Mas, durante o período do seu reinado,

Amorosa, ama como se não houvesse amanhã.

A estação da vida.

Enche de esperança e de força cada ser, estar e acontecer.

Depois transborda.

Mas, durante o período de seu reinado,

Vívida, vive como se não houvesse amanhã.

Estação primeira,

Início de um ciclo,

Nascimento de uma era.

Mas, durante o período de seu reinado,

É tão e somente Primavera.

Spring

Season of flowers.

It blossoms and yields glow, color, and perfume.

Then it wilts.

But in its reign,

It flourishes as if there is no tomorrow.

Season of love.

It intensifies each and every desire, affection, kiss...  

Then it softens.

But in its reign,

It loves as if there is no tomorrow.

Season of life.

It fills of hope each being and happening.

Then it floods.

But in its reign,

It lives as if there is no tomorrow.

Season one,

The beginning of a cycle,

A new era origin.

But in its reign,

It is only known as Spring.

Comprar… Comprar… Comprar… Consumir… Consumir… Consumir…

Comprar online significa esperar pela mercadoria. Comprar em lojas significa estourar os cartões de crédito em um piscar de olhos. Gastar com “junk food” significa ganhar alguns quilinhos. Espera! Estamos tão gordos assim? Se malharmos estaremos quebrados. Precisamos de um empréstimo! Se o Capitalismo é a lei, o Consumismo é uma ordem. Assim, tudo está em ordem.

O seu pedido é o de ordem número...

Podemos comprar outra coisa? Estamos desesperados, viciados, solitários, inseguros... Quanto custa o seu amor? Quanto custa a sua lealdade, o seu silêncio ou a sua dignidade? Ah, pode ficar com o troco!

Chegamos a um ponto em que tudo parece igual. Tudo fica obsoleto em pouco tempo. Tudo parece estar à venda.

Você está?

Shopping... Shopping... Shopping... Consuming... Consuming.... Consuming...

Shopping online means waiting for our order to arrive. Shopping at stores means cracking our credit cards in the blink of an eye. Spending a lot on junk food means we are gaining some weight. Wait! Are we that fat? If we hit the gym we are broken. We need a loan! If Capitalism is the law, Consumerism is an order. So everything is in order.

Your order number is...

Can we buy something else? We are desperate, addicted, lonely, insecure… How much does your love cost? How much does your loyalty, your silence or your dignity cost? Oh, you can keep the change!

We have reached a point where everything looks the same; everything gets to be obsolete in a couple of years. Everything seems to be for sale.

Are you?

Ansiedade

Naquela noite, quando o relógio marcou meia-noite, ela fechou os olhos e deixou sua imaginação voar como um pássaro planando no céu. Fazer uma pequena viagem ao passado não faria nenhum mal, faria? Melhor não! Estava segura no presente. Rapidamente fez um pedido. Sonhar com o futuro não faria nenhum estrago, faria? Melhor não! Estava segura no presente. Abriu os olhos e ficou olhando para o teto por um tempo. Não tinha vontade de dormir. Aos poucos, sua mente se afogava em pensamentos. Pensamentos, drama, medos... Por que estava tão assustada? Sentia-se tão deprimida ultimamente. Deprimida e covarde. Era isso o que ela era? Não, claro que não! Sempre fora tão segura e confiante, cheia de alegria e com um enorme senso de humor. O que mudou então? Não sabia. Sentiu um nó na garganta. Uma lágrima caiu de seus olhos. E, então, outra.

Ela tinha vinte e três anos e sentia como se ainda não tivesse vivido. Toda e cada vez que dava um passo em direção ao futuro, algo ou alguém puxava suas pernas fazendo com que caísse no chão. Estava ficando cansada dessa situação. Ela tinha sonhos e planos e não deixaria ninguém interferir em seus assuntos outra vez. Queria sair dali e ir, bem longe, para o seu gélido País das Maravilhas. Mas, iria algum dia? Oh, corta essa, mocinha! É hora de pensar em você e SOMENTE em você. Não de uma maneira egoísta, mas de uma maneira “preciso recuperar minha autoconfiança para que eu possa ser feliz e fazer feliz todos os que me cercam”. Não será fácil, mas tenho certeza que você pode prosperar. E VOCÊ sabe que pode. Ainda que triste, ainda que sofrendo, mas, AINDA VIVA!

Anxiety

That night, when the clock struck twelve, she closed her eyes and let her imagination fly away as free as a bird soaring in the sky. Making a little trip to the past would not do much harm, would it? Better not! She was safe in the present time. Twelve past twelve. She quickly made a wish. Dreaming about the future would not cause much damage, would it? Better not! She was safe in the present time. She opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling for a while. She did not feel like sleeping. Her mind was slowly drowning in her thoughts. Inner thoughts. Inner drama. Inner… fears. Why was she so scared? She has been feeling so depressed lately. Depressed and coward. Was that what she was? No, of course not! She had always been so secure and confident, full of joy and with a great sense of humor. What has changed then? She did not know. She felt a lump in her throat. A tear fell from her eyes. Then another. She was twenty-three and felt like she had not started living yet. Every time, every single time she stepped into the future something or someone pulled her legs down making her fall on the ground. She was getting tired of that situation. She had dreams and plans and would not let anyone interfere with her issues again. She wanted to get out of there, go far, far away to her icy wonderland. But would she ever? Oh, come on, young woman! It is time to think about you and ONLY you. Not in a selfish kind of way, but in an “I need to get my self-confidence back so I can be happy and make people around me happy as well” kind of way. It will not be easy, but I am sure you can succeed. And YOU know you can. Even in sadness, even in pain, but NOT YET DEAD!

E depois?

Há alguns dias, li uma coisa que me bateu tão forte que fiquei deprimida. Revoltada. Mal pude dormir. Afetou-me de tal forma que nem conseguia explicar. Aquele texto, uma carta aberta à industria musical, foi apenas o gatilho para o que vinha fervendo dentro de mim há muito tempo (caso se interesse, http://teganandsara.com/news/a-call-for-change/ – o texto está em inglês).

Não vou desabafar ou reclamar da indústria musical. Vou mais longe, mais fundo. O que está acontecendo com o MUNDO? A vida humana ficou sem valor. As pessoas matam por nada e é para ISSO que devemos voltar nossa atenção. Tomamos o certo pelo errado e vice versa. As pessoas parecem ter esquecido o que realmente importa.

Acredito que a minha geração (1988 – 1990, forçando um pouquinho, 1991) foi a última geração a realmente ter uma infância e ninguém até agora, convenceu-me do contrário (se você discorda, por favor, avise-me). Hoje em dia, as mães dão à luz crianças cuja primeira palavra é “internet”; e “rede” e “social” vêm logo depois. Lembro-me que aos treze anos eu ainda brincava com Barbies e videogames, mas agora, neste “caos organizado” em que vivemos, parece que tudo se resume a SEXO. E VIOLÊNCIA. Então uma criança pode assistir a um programa de TV/filme ou videoclipe em que algumas mulheres gostosas, vestidas com uma roupa sexy, rebolam seus quadris voluptuosamente, enquanto alguns homens as observam lascivamente em suas performances, e está tudo bem? Então você lê/assiste/ouve notícias em que o repórter descreve cada pequeno detalhe de como um maluco invadiu uma escola e atirou em todo mundo antes de cometer suicídio, e está tudo bem? NÃO, NÃO está TUDO BEM! Sexo e violência aparecem na mídia com tanta frequência que se tornaram BANAIS. NORMAIS.

RESPEITO, AMOR, FÉ, FAMÍLIA. Essas palavras parecem estar sumindo do dicionário da humanidade. Esses valores parecem estar perdendo importância na moral do mundo. Acredito que devemos mudar conforme o mundo muda, pois somos seres adaptáveis afinal de contas. NO ENTANTO, também acredito que algumas coisas não devem mudar DE JEITO NENHUM! OS VALORES TÊM QUE PERMANECER! Eles são os pilares na construção do nosso caráter. Eles são essenciais para que possamos viver em sociedade.

Não sou jornalista, artista ou política. Talvez por isso, ninguém leia este texto. Mesmo assim, à noite, quando deitar-me e colocar a cabeça no travesseiro, poderei dormir tranquila, pois a mensagem terá sido enviada. Estará lá fora como uma pluma carregada pelo vento. Talvez, ela caia no seu quintal. Talvez, ela continue viajando sem rumo até perder força e cair em um lugar vazio. Sou apenas uma garota tentando encontrar seu caminho, tentando construir seu futuro, tentando escrever sua história e tentando sobreviver apesar de todo o mal que permeou nosso planeta. E depois?

Then what is next?

A few days ago I read something that struck me so badly I got depressed. Revolted. I could barely sleep. It affected me in such a way I could not really explain. That text, an open letter to the music industry, was just a trigger for what has been boiling inside me for a long time (in case you are interested - http://teganandsara.com/news/a-call-for-change/).

I am not going to vent or complain about the music industry. I am going farther. Deeper. What is going on with the WORLD? Human life has become worthless. People kill over nothing and THAT is what we must draw our attention to. We have been taking right for wrong and vice versa. People seem to have forgotten what really matters.

I believe my generation (1988 – 1990, and stretching a little, 1991) was the last generation to have actually had a childhood and no one has convinced me otherwise (if you disagree, please, let me know). Nowadays, mothers give birth to kids whose first word is “internet”; and “social” and “network” come right after that. I remember I was thirteen and still played with Barbies and video games, but now, in this “organized chaos” we live in it seems all comes down to SEX. And VIOLENCE. So kids are allowed to watch TV shows/movies or video clips in which some hot women wearing sexy outfits shake their hips voluptuously while some men lasciviously watch them to perform, and it is ok. So you read/watch/listen to the news in which the reporter describes every single detail of how a psycho invaded a school and shot everyone before committing suicide, and it is ok. NO, it is NOT ok! Sex and violence have featured so regularly in the media they have become BANAL. NORMAL.

RESPECT, LOVE, FAITH, FAMILY. These words seem to be fading from humanity’s dictionary. These values seem to be losing importance in the world’s moral. I believe we should change as the world changes; we are adaptable beings after all. HOWEVER, I also believe some things should not be changed AT ALL! VALUES MUST REMAIN! They are the mainstay of one’s character. They are essential if we are to live in society.

I am not a journalist, an artist or a politician. So maybe no one will get to read this. But even so, tonight, when I lie down and put my head on the pillow I will be able to sleep. Because the message will have been sent. It will be out there like a feather blown by the wind. Maybe it will fall on your yard. Maybe it will keep travelling aimlessly until it loses force and falls on an empty place. I am just a girl trying to find her own path, trying to build her own future, trying to write her own history and trying to survive in spite of all evil that has permeated our planet. Then what is next?

Greek tragedy

She was a pretty little girl living in a pretty big world. Full of dreams she was. Princesses, witches, princes. She had all the ingredients for her perfect fairy tale. As growing up, her innocence was compromised by the scary world she realized she was living in. How come those fairy tales couldn't become real?
Reality. What an enigmatic word. What is the limit for it? What really determines what is real and what is not? Her mind was disturbed by the obscurity of her deepest thoughts. Life was no longer a safe place for her inner child. Lonely she was. Even if surrounded by people. The more she appealed to reason the emptier she felt.
Hollow. No feelings. No emotions. No anything. She lived her life as in a play. A Greek tragedy. A divine spectacle with no spectators but herself and the gods of the Olympus.
The final act. An uptight atmosphere. Silence. No applause. The curtains finally closed.

The man from the alley

It was a dark moonless rainy night. I was walking alone – yes, I know it was a stupid thing for a girl to do, but I was near home and coming from the grocery store. Suddenly, I heard a shot. The noise came from an alley nearby. I was paralyzed, scared to death but somehow I knew someone needed my help. I decided to hide for the shooter not to see me but nobody left the alley and that was a one-way alley. I waited for about five minutes, or at least I thought so, and nothing happened. So I went to the alley. There, I saw a body lying on the dirty asphalt. I was about to call for help when a voice said: “Please, don't call anyone!”
“Why not?” I asked. “You were shot, you definitely need help!”
“No I wasn't.” He answered.
“What?”
Then I realized he wasn't bleeding, he only had some bruises. I looked around to verify if there was another body lying on the ground but there wasn't any. So the man got up and left. I left right after him running and asking him to stop but he wouldn't. So a car popped up out from nowhere and almost ran me over. I thanked the Lord for making its brakes work perfectly. I turned around and the man from the alley had gone. Then I thought it was time to go home, I was exhausted, scared and really confused. When I got home went quickly upstairs, washed my face and tried to get some sleep. That night I had the worst nightmare of my life. Ghosts, monsters, murderers...
I woke up terrified with a noise coming from the kitchen. I was drenched in sweat and my skin was cold but even so I took courage to go downstairs to check that scary noise. Step by step I was getting closer and closer to the kitchen. I glimpsed inside and saw a shadow passing in a rush through the door toward the laundry. I entered the kitchen and grabbed a knife – we never know, right? I followed the shadow into the laundry but there wasn't anybody there. I went to the living room and there he was, sitting on the couch, the man from the alley.
“What the hell are you doing here in my living room? How did you get in? How did you know where I live?”, I bombed him with questions.
“You brought me here!”, he said.
“No I did not!”
“Yes, you did. Last night when you found me in the alley. You didn't want to call for help and brought me here to take care of me and my bruises. Don't you remember that?”
Was I getting crazy? How could I have forgotten bringing a stranger to my house? No, I definitely brought nobody home. He was lying. But why? I had to buy some time to call the Police.
“Make yourself at home”, I said.
“Thank you.”
While he was sort of entertained with some photos in the portraits, I went to the kitchen and picked up the phone and tried to call the cops, but the phone wasn't working. Somebody had cut the phone line. HE had cut the wires. I went back to the living room and in order to keep control of the situation, I said I would see if the boy who delivers the newspaper had already passed by.
“On the table!”, he told me.
“Oh, thank you.”
That was when everything started to be more confusing than it already was. I was shocked when I read the first page: “BIG COMPANY CHAIRMAN'S KILLER FOUND DEAD LAST AFTERNOON” and below the headline there was a picture of a familiar man. My “guest” was the chairman's killer. And he was DEAD! But how? He seemed so alive to me and he was right there in my living room. Besides, he hadn't been shot and only had some bruises.
“Yes, I am dead”, he said as if he was answering my inner questions and thoughts. “I killed that poor rich man because I wanted his money. I had made a pact with the... you know. I wanted to be rich but I couldn't even get a job. So I was given the opportunity to get all I wanted in exchange of somebody's soul. But there was a condition in my contract when I made the pact. If I died before the first month after my wish come true, I would spend all eternity as a soul catcher. Two weeks after I had become a rich man, I was kidnapped by four men. They punched me a lot - that is why I got my bruises - and I died as a consequence of a brain concussion. Now I can choose my victims at random”, he was coming toward me, “I follow my victims and attract them by shooting a gun in a dark alley”, he was getting closer and closer, “Then, I confuse them and make them to be scared, and then I kill them. Guess who is my next victim? YOU!”
“Cut!”, shouted the director. “All right everybody, good job! We will continue tomorrow. So you are free to go. Thank you all and goodnight!”

Observação

Nossa, está cada vez mais complicado postar alguma coisa por aqui. A falta de tempo e o notebook quebrado me impedem de realizar meus planos. Enquanto tento acabar o texto no qual estou trabalhando "há séculos", aviso que os próximos 2 posts serão exclusivamente em inglês, pois são as versões originais de "O Homem do Beco" e "Tragédia Grega". Dito isso, enjoy them!

Sem mais. Por ora.

Sem palavras (uau)!

Eu estava trabalhando em um texto novo mas, devido ao último acontecimento, sou forçada a mudar minhas prioridades...

No último domingo, 20 de fevereiro, minha amiga, a irmã dela, meu irmão e eu fomos ao show do PARAMORE em São Paulo. Não vou descrever como foi, o quanto eu gosto da banda, quantas músicas eles tocaram e etc. Só queria chamar sua atenção para um único fato: como a música CONECTA as pessoas. É maravilhoso ver um bando de adolescentes loucos lado a lado com jovens adultos, pais e avós (isso mesmo, avós!), cantando, pulando, dançando como se não houvesse amanhã. Provavelmente, aqueles pais e avós só estavam lá para acompanhar sua prole, mas o ambiente vibrante os contaminou mesmo que por apenas 5 minutos.

Para um fã, quando se espera 3 longos anos para ver sua banda favorita, é extremamente empolgante! Confesso que nunca pulei, cantei, gritei tanto na minha vida!

Para um artista, quando se espera 3 longos anos para ir ou voltar a um lugar onde as pessoas são apaixonadas por você, é extremamente empolgante! A banda pirou aquela noite (yes)!

Para um pai(ou avô) que leva seus filhos (ou netos) para ver sua banda favorita tocar, bem, existe coisa mais gratificante do que vê-los extremamente felizes?

Depois daquela noite eu não poderia fazer outra coisa senão olhar para o céu e agradecer a Deus! Obrigada pelo melhor momento da minha vida (até agora)! E obrigada, PARAMORE, por fazer parte disto: MINHA VIDA!

Speechless (wow!)

I was working on a brand new text but due to the recent event, I am forced to change my priorities...

Last Sunday, February 20th, my friend, her sister, my brother and I went to PARAMORE's show in São Paulo, Brazil. I'm not going to describe how was it, how much I like them, how many songs they played and etc. I just want to draw your attention to one single fact: how music CONNECTS people. It's amazing to see a bunch of crazy teenagers, side by side, with young adults, parents and granparents (yes, there were some grandparents there!), singing, jumping, dancing as if there's no tomorrow. Probably, those parents and grandparents were there only to accompany there underage kids, but the vibrating atmosphere poisoned them even if it was only for 5 minutes.

For a fan, when you wait 3 long years to see your favorite band, it is extremely exciting! I confess I've never jumped, sung, screamed so much in my entire life!

For an artist, when you wait 3 long years to go or to go back to a place where people are passionate towards you, it is extremely exciting! The band went crazy that night (yay)!

For a parent (or a grandparent) who takes their kids (or grandkids) to see their favorite band playing, well, could anything be more gratifying than seeing their kids extremely happy?

After that night, I could do nothing but look at the sky and say thank you, God! Thank you for the best time of my life (so far)! And thank you PARAMORE, for making part of it: MY LIFE!

Ano novo, blog novo!

Eu sei, eu sei, faz um tempão que não posto nada por aqui. Mas estive pensando em várias mudanças para este blog. E nada me tirava da cabeça de que ele seria bilíngue a partir de 2011. É isso mesmo. Como não tenho usado o meu inglês, não queria esquecê-lo. Daí essa ideia ter surgido na minha cabeça. Os próximos posts serão sempre duplos: um em português e o outro em inglês. Os dois terão basicamente o mesmo conteúdo. Sinta-se à vontade para ler o que quiser.

Feliz Ano novo!